As I sit here on the eve of my 32nd birthday, I can’t help but reflect on the rollercoaster ride from hell that this passed year has, as well as the blessings that have come with it.
Everyone has highs and lows to their days, months, years, but damn this one was crazy last 12 months.
I broke off an engagement to a very toxic relationship, losing two step kids in the process, but it had to be done. I had to step away, and grow as a person for myself, my own two children and realize it wasn’t worth going forward with. I felt I grew the most in the couple months that followed.
I had lots of struggles to remain strong for my kids, as they were unfortunately exposed more than any kid should be to that situation, and show them that the high road is the only way. I’m sure any parent can relate, it’s extremely tough some times keeping on that mask, and having to deal with it on your own.
I concentrated on them and made the best of a crap situation, and slowly, but surely, time healed opened wounds. The scars may remain, but it’s faint and nothing worth thinking on.
This summer flew by, and ended with Mom having multiple heart attacks right before Creedance’s birthday.
That was probably the most profound moment in my life besides my kids being born.
One moment I was in bed, the next I was being told my mom was being taken to the hospital due to heart issues.
It is not like it is on television. People don’t grab their chest and keel over. It was long, painful, anguish coming from my mother. The cries over the 94 minutes it took for the doctors to assess and determine she needed surgery was the longest 94 minutes of my life.
My dad was calm, and sweet, and caring. The role I usually take in the family. I was in shock, and trying to think back, it is almost a repressed memory because details are now fuzzy. I just remember the cries of my mother, in pain, asking for help.
I had asked for positive vibes on my FB account. I don’t usually believe in that kind thing, but I was at my wits end and would do anything for her to be okay. My heart is racing again just writing about it.
The out pouring of positive vibes and prayers from everyone blew me away. I always knew everyone loved my mother, but God damn. Everyone had such kind words and memories about her. It made me super thankful to call her mine. It also made me worry more about her and how I am not ready to live in this world without her. That defined my breaking point. I am not ready to live on without my parents yet in life. I don’t think anyone really is at any time, but I definitely need them now more than ever. I couldn’t even comprehend how I would stay strong in front of the kids, and I had to run and hide a lot in the coming days, including my daughter’s birthday at the lake, because some things are just too much to take on.
The fall has been better to me and my family. My mother’s health has returned, and she is back to work. Still full of piss and vinegar as always.
The kids have started up with school again.
Colton is in love with his new teacher and is learning loads compared to previous years. His reading has come along way, and I try to read to him any night possible including tonight. He has been busy designing calendars the last two days for a magical countdown until Santa shows up. His requests are all Lego, even at the request of us asking him to select more. I’ve created a Lego monster haha.
We made a huge box fort in his room tonight in his room which he loves.
Creedance has started Junior high, and queen of her castle. She’s got a little posse that follows her around and is ever so popular.
She’s a straight A student and back on the top tier team in soccer once again. We have many international trips lined up for this year coming as well. Queue the ‘Cha-Ching’ sound effect.
My career has changed in the last year, as I’ve opened up my own home to become a Daddy Day Home. It was a slow start, as I’m literally the only Daddy Day Home in my entire city.
I get a lot of praise in the community that I’ve come to know online and in the industry, which keeps the fire going. It’s not the 50s anymore, men can raise the babies too, and I pride myself in doing a damn good job of it!
I’ve got lovely clients that are like family, and even some future ones lined up for the spring time when the babies come of age to come. Excited for the days ahead!
I’ve been lucky to meet an amazing woman, who has become a part of the family.
Her name is Sasha and she is wonderful to all of us. Makes an effort towards the kids without even trying, which pulls the heart strings.
She came with a Cat, which most of you know is not my thing, but the little purr machine cuddles up at night and is a nocturnal cat. His name is Tisdale.
Can wake up any hour of the night to hear little jingles of toys and the fast running of his paws throughout the house. Haha.
With all of the bad of this year, I’ll roll with the punches life throws at me, and be blessed by the good and near misses I’ve faced. I got my family. Got my career. Got a few close friends. I’ll remain humble and happy to have all of those another year.
Thank you for reading,